Salt Lake City, Utah. Home of beautiful peaks and towering temples; gorgeous landscapes and smiling faces; endlessly changing weather and low living costs. These are some of the reasons for choosing the humorously abbreviated SL,UT as the place you call home. But the wonders of this surprising little city only seems to apply Monday through Saturday. Once the end of the week rolls around it is all downhill, and for the next 24 hours you may feel at a loss. What is there to do in Salt Lake City on a Sunday?
We can all think of practical advice to give: go for a nice walk, drive up into the mountains for a hike, stay in and watch a movie with friends or family. But who wants to be practical? I have compiled a list of twenty things that you can do on a day when nearly everything in the city is shut down.
1. Create an elaborate relay in your backyard, complete with egg balancing on spoons, a three-legged race, wheelbarrow and a slip-n-slide covered in whip cream. All participants should be blindfolded and/or nude.
2. Scrub your entire house with a toothbrush, paying close attention to the usually unattended areas like tight corners, the backs of closets and the inside of faucets.
3. Spread Bugles all over the floor from one end of your home to the next. Next, have someone hold your feet as you walk on your hands, eating each one and making a sound like a human vacuum.
4. Ferret boxing, complete with homemade ring.
5. Boxing with any other small mammal, also in homemade ring.
6. Conduct a full ceremony to celebrate the winner of aforementioned boxing matches.
7. Dress up your dog/cat/hamster in 18th Century traditional folk costumes and put on a pantomime with full animal cast.
8. Try to create a six course meal with nothing but four items chosen from your refrigerator.
9. Launch a full-scale military attack on your neighbors using household items like pots and pans, brooms and an old Atari controller you pulled out of storage.
10. Get drunk.
11. Reenact scenes from you favorite Disney movies with props made of toilet paper rolls and markers.
12. Staring contest.
13. Put on a full wedding between two toys of the same type, gender or franchise, complete with protestors around the perimeters with homemade signs calling it an evil union.
14. Watch golf, but apply American football rules and unruly chanting and slogans. Make sure to scream “Touchdown!” everytime they score a hole in one, or “Intercepted!” when they slice.
15. Barbara Streisand movie night.
16. Get drunk...a second time.
17. Dress your kids up like bowling pins and crash into them doing somersaults down your driveway. Call it “Family Bowling Night”.
18. Turn your living room into a hip, pretentious new cafe. Charge your family members $6.00 for a cup of substandard coffee with too much sugar and foam.
19. Write vague, strangely threatening notes to put on neighborhood cars. Sign them 'The Jackal'.
20. Sleep through it.